On a narcissistic kick, I went on iTunes this weekend and searched for songs about “Heather” – people, not plants. I’ve found there’s lots of songs about rolling in the heather, skipping through the heather, frolicking in the heather, getting buck naked in the heather, etc., but I don’t think I have ever heard a song about a person named Heather.

Until now.

Leonard Cohen Dear Heather

Surprisingly, there are quite a number of songs about people named Heather. The Carpenters have an all instrumental song, but really, who needs that? (I always think instrumental songs that I like must have been written for me, anyway … heh). Lenny Cohen did a whole album called “Dear Heather.” But there was a dearth of new songs.

So, for all of you Heathers out there, here’s a playlist designed with you in mind.

PLEASE NOTE: Almost all of these songs, lamely, have something about the following in them: Weather, Leather, Pleather, Together, Whether, Tether, Feathers. Sigh.

The All-Heather Playlist:
1. Heather by Move.meant – This song was actually on the soundtrack to the “Final Fight: Streetwise” video game album. The Heather in this song? A teen mom who is pretty downtrodden, probably a prostitute. Off to a good start.

2. Heather by Grayson Hill – This is a fairly whiny song, but calls Heather an “Angel.” The Heather here is an old flame that has left poor Grayson … “Heather wherever you are, no matter the weather, I will meet you …” Sniff.

3. Heather by Dayna Manning – Heather in this song is “the prettiest girl in town” but apparently, not the smartest when it comes to men. And after all, “boys are scared of what they don’t know.” A little lame, but needed a female in the mix.

4. Heather by Heavens – This Heather doesn’t answer the phone (she, surprisingly, left it at home, and it might say, shocker, “Caller Unknown”) and paints lovely pictures of children writhing in death and decay. Why won’t you answer, Heather? Why?

5. Hey Heather by Farewell – The Heather in this song has left this poor boy, and he seems to be in a tizzy about. He’s “lost in her letters” and “together, they can find something better.” Hope is alive for love people!

6. Heather Heather by The Magnetic Fields – This has to be my fave so far of all the Heather-centric songs. I mean, it has leather references! It sounds like an acid trip! “Heather Heather, we belong together, like sex & violence, like death and silence…. Heather Heather, we’re birds of a feather …” What’s not to love? Actually, this song was part of the Pieces of April soundtrack. I forgot about it … until now!

That’s it folks. Run, don’t walk, to iTunes to grab this fabulous Heather playlist before it’s … well, it will still be there. You don’t have to kill yourself.

xoxo, Heather